I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have fence marks all over my body
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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