Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
