I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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