I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
