im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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