I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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