it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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