After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize