Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
