Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
