I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
