Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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