The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
