R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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