So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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