dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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