well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
