so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
