All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
