Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
