Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
