very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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