the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
