So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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