Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
