Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize