So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize