dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
