I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My cat gives me a boner
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
