She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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