I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
