Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
