If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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