Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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