i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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