Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
