hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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