you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
