It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize