Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
