Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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