i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
