Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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