So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
