Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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