I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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