saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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