She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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