well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize