So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Small penises have feelings too.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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