Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize