no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
