smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize