Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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