i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
