I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
