Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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