He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
